Seer of Guilt
by WordsfromAshes
Summary: Terezi feels the guilt of killing Vriska weighing her down, especially after her dream bubble with Aranea. Karkat is determined to make her see that it wasn't her fault and that she is needed. kk/tz


She sat on the edge of the roof with her legs dangling over the ledge. Her hands were clasped in her lap except when she feebly lifted on to swipe away the teal-tinted tears from her burned eyes. Everything smelled of charcoal and black licorice, which disoriented Terezi to some extent. Everything smelled the same except for the cerulean blue stain that was not too far from where she sat now. That smelled of guilt and deceit.

The worst part was, it wasn't the guilt and deceit that Vriska carried with her through her life. It was the guilt that rested solely in Terezi's hands. It was the deceit that Terezi presented in the coin toss—knowing all along the outcome would have been the same. Yet, she had given a glimmer of hope to her sister. A glimmer of false hope.

Terezi sat alone on the rooftop with the reminder of her guilt that Karkat and Kanaya had tried to scrub away, waiting for the next dream bubble. Hoping that she could finally release her apology to Vriska—the real Vriska— once the bubble approached. The past conversations with Aranea still circled her mind in a nauseous manner.

She didn't know how long she had sat on the rooftop in silence before she smelled the refreshing candy apple, but she knew that for once she didn't want to be near her favorite smell.

"Go away, Karkat."

She didn't want him to see her like this. Especially with the way he had been acting recently.

He didn't respond at all, but by the growing intensity of the scent, Terezi knew he was making his way towards her. Why did he insist on not following her wishes? Dave had. As soon as Terezi said to go away, Dave had turned the other way with a hesitant cool-kid goodbye.

Instead, Karkat spat out a: "What the fuck do you think you're doing?" as soon as he was standing behind her. She could tell by the intensity of the candy apple scent that almost covered up the guilt. Almost.

"Sitting on the roof. I thought _I _was the blind one, not _you_." She snapped as her hands balled up in frustration.

He ignored her attitude though and continued to yell. "No really? I can see that. But I want to know why you have been ignoring everyone ever since that damn dream bubble. You did a fan-fucking-tastic job at scaring us, by the way. We thought you were fucking _dead_. And then I found your cane and didn't know what to think!"

Her cane. Terezi tried to cover up the instinct to squirm just thinking about her dragon-headed cane. She had left it behind when she came to the roof because of the actions associated with it. Past the fresh air and cherry scents, she could pick up on the dried guilt that she couldn't get off the blade.

"I told Dave I didn't want to see anyone. Didn't he tell you?"

"That douchenozzle might have mentioned it. But—"

"Then why are you _here_. I told you to leave."

For once, Karkat stopped talking. He was still there, Terezi could sense it. He hadn't moved, yet he wasn't talking. It was progress.

"Terezi, you never go anywhere without you cane. Especially up here where you can't see well. Something has to be wrong. I heard you passed up playing in that stupid town for this." His voice was softer than his earlier outbursts and the candy apple swirls shifted around her before settling next to her side. He had sat next to her, with his legs dangling off the edge as well.

Why? Why didn't he leave? He'd been so frustrated with her recently. Why would he be so kind, as kind as Karkat could at least, to someone who murdered a member of their team that he had so desperately tried to keep together?

The stain of guilt intensified. She didn't deserve this kindness.

The tears that had been leaking from her eyes seemed even worse now. As one fell on her twisted hands, she quickly reacted and pushed up her glasses slightly in order to swipe her eyes clean of anymore traitorous tears. Trolls didn't cry. Especially over deaths. It was a sign of weakness and justice couldn't be weak.

"Tez?" Karkat said. He reached out for her but paused as she turned away from the rich red scents. The candy apple was becoming an unripe cherry due to worry.

"Please. Go." Her voice was shakier than she wanted. She used to be so strong.

"Is there something you want to talk about?"

Terezi shook her head and more tears escaped.

"As the leader, I demand you to tell me."

This earned a small chuckle that disappeared in silence. "You're not the leader anymore, Karkles. I thought we all went over this."

He was silent again, as if mulling over what to say. How to come back at that statement. She was expecting him to ignore that he had been denounced as leader, or to reinstate leadership. It was quite the Karkat thing to do. After all, he had stolen the leadership position from her. What he did say surprised her. "Fine then. Tell me as a friend then." It shocked her, and it stung her as she realized he only referred to them as "friends".

"Why do you want to talk to me? Why do you still consider me your... friend?" She whispered silently and looked down sightlessly as her lap.

"I may not be leader anymore but I still need to keep the team together. Besides, we've known each other since we were wrigglers. We can't have you walking off the edge of the roof because of your stupidity. Then again, as stupid as you may act, you never were stupid. You left the cane back there on purpose, didn't you?"

Terezi said nothing as she slowly nodded her head. Her throat tightening. As oblivious as Karkat may seem at times, she forgot how insightful he could be as well. He would have made a fine Hero of Mind unlike her.

"What happened? Please tell me."

Terezi pulled her feet up to rest on the rooftop. Her arms encircled her legs as she rest her chin on her knees. "I'm guilty, Karkat." She whispered into her knees. "How can I talk of justice when I'm carrying the most guilt of us all?" Terezi laughed in a maniacal way that seem off from her usually cackle. The laugh showed how much she was breaking. "I'm the legislacerator and I'm losing my own trial."

After another spiel of laughter resided, she continued.

"I don't have a noose around my neck, but it feels like there is. I wake up from dreams of being hanged and claw at my neck only to feel nothing. But it's _there_. The guilt is there and it's killing me." Her one hand managed to unravel itself from the other and found its way up to her neck as if double checking to see if there really was no rope there. "It's still there, though, because I killed her."

"I killed her, Karkat." She whispered and faced him. Her eyes blazing with hatred geared towards herself. "I killed Vriska."

The Cancer didn't respond. He sat there somewhere in the swirls of bitter cherries. "You had to." He said softly and matter-of-factly.

"No, I didn't. I didn't have to kill her. I could have let her go, you know."

"She would have gotten us all killed then, Terezi. Do you remember telling me that? Back then you told me you had to kill her. That you regretted doing it, but she forced you to kill her. Don't blame yourself for what she brought upon herself." He reached out for her again and tenderly laid a hand on her hunched shoulder. Terezi couldn't bring herself to shrug him off. The contact made her feel less alone, something that she desperately needed right now. The comfort she was receiving warred with the guilt.

"Every time I sleep, I dream of a different outcome that should have happened. I dream of her death. I should have seen the outcomes. If I can't do that, then I don't deserve the title."

Karkat snorted and nudged her slightly. "At least you know what you're title _does_. Except for it mocking me, I'm still in the dark as to what the Knight of _Blood_ even means in regard to me."

A slight smile crossed Terezi's features as Karkat made fun of himself. He even made fun of his blood for her, something that he couldn't even mention in the most serious of times. The smile quickly disappeared though.

"Yes, but I knew what my job was and I couldn't do it. I'm sure the human could have done better. She would have known what to do. Now that she's here, why is it important to have a Seer of Mind who is blind of all things?"

"Rose may be god tier, but she doesn't know nearly as much as you, Terezi." He countered lightly. She 'glanced' at him. "Quite honestly, I think she would have reacted the same way as you. Besides, Vriska would have died either way. You could do nothing to stop it."

Terezi's face scrunched up before she became to scream. "So no matter what I was responsible for her death! That's wonderful to know!" She scoffed bitterly. " I could have seen another way! I could have done _something_, Karkat! I could have—"

He grabbed both her shaking shoulders and held her tightly. "Terezi, there is something I've learned on this journey. It's that things happen for a reason. Do you know how many times I've seen alternate versions of ourselves? I've seen myself ascended to god tier. I've seen _you_ ascended to god tier. And yet they aren't the ones who are alive right now. _We _are the ones who exist on the timeline. She was meant to die. We may not see why now, we might never know why, but it had to happen. There are _reasons_ as to why you haven't ascended yet. There are reasons as to why you are alive. And it's because we _do_ need you. I need you." He whispered the last line so softly that Terezi almost hadn't picked up on it. But she had and was rendered into another round of tears.

"But Karkat—"

He suddenly pulled her close to him and held his arms around her. At that gesture, a sob ripped through her that wracked her body. She shook all over as the tears and cries escaped from her. As the guilt began to pour out of her in waves.

"I know Vriska was a huge bitch, but you two were close. I'm sure she understands and forgives you. We'll see her soon enough." He reassured her calmly. "It was just. It's the only way she could have died. It was just." He repeated to her as they held each other.

She still sobbed though, releasing all the guilt in her.

"Shh…" He whispered and rubbed her back gently. "It's going to be okay, Terezi." He rested his chin on top of her head. "You're strong, Terezi." His grip tightened on her and she grabbed the front of his shirt and clung onto it as if he was the only thing that kept her from being thrown off the ledge with the noose around her neck. She may not know everything, but she knew that Karkat was right about there being a reasons for everything. She needed him as much as he needed her and maybe that's why they were both alive today.

Burrying her face into his chest, all she smelled was candy apple. It would only be temporary, and the scent guilt would return, no doubt, but with Karkat there, maybe there was hope of overcoming it.

* * *

><p><em>I wanted to show Terezi's weaknesses since most people only delve into Terezi being the support for Karkat and his weaknesses. I thought it would be nice to shake it up, especially with Terezi's recent character development.<em>

___I'm not too proud of the ending. It didn't tie up as nicely as I'm used to doing, but I hope you all liked this. Thoughts, suggestions, and constructive criticism (aka Reviews) are always welcomed._


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